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She's gone
Written by Calliope Pappadakis   
Friday, 12 April 2013 17:05

I'm having a wee bit of an identity crisis this week. My high tunnel is gone. I don't miss the terrifying feeling of big wind gusts sweeping through the valley. I don't miss the repairs, the long list of things needing fixing that were creeping up on us the last year or so. I don't miss the stress of a scheduled CSA-- deadlines, promises of food, deliveries. But I miss her. I miss the link she gave me to my heart's truest passion- earth, soil, cultivation, insects, physical connections to the cycle of Mama Earth, the magic of a seed. She's gone and I've been sad about it this week. I've failed to notice any other strengths I might possess while I mope about and feel discombobulated. I wasn't sure why I felt so out of sorts, or maybe I was afraid to admit it. I love teaching because I am a lifelong learner and I love being a student! But the identity I came to embrace as a grower of local, organic food is not an easy one to part with and to wave goodbye...  

I do have faith in change, and I tend to bounce back after stirring around in a dark place. I think I'm swinging my way out the other side, at least in terms of going, "Oh ok." Deep breath. And flowing with it. Moving with the change, nurturing myself in spite of the emptiness it has brought, and not rejecting it. Spring is all about transition, unfurling, warming, growth, and change. I guess I'm still finding my way in her absence. My beloved Gothic Plant Cathedral. Farewell, friend. Maybe one of these days I'll get around to updating the website to reflect the change. But not quite yet.

Tunnel 2009